Some Days are Diamonds.

You know how yesterday I was telling you about how fired up I was?  How I had all these big writing urges fighting their way to the surface?  Today, after much excitement and planning, the ideas just aren’t there.  

But that’s okay.  I know it’s a temporary thing.  It’s been a pretty stressful week here at Cinema Fromage headquarters, so it makes sense that maybe I’m too tired for the excitement and ideas to come.  But, it was those kinds of stumbles that led me off the path the last time.  So we’re going to power through and jot down a post tonight, to keep the gears turning.  To power through the dry times.  To make sure at least some words, hit the table.

So here we are.

I’ve been working on a book.  I’ve been feeling kind of guilty because I haven’t written anything on it in about two weeks.  That’s not to say I haven’t been thinking about it.  It just means I haven’t been working on it.  Moments like that worry me a bit.  Old habits, etc. etc.

Calling it a book is a little ambitious right now.  A jumble of notes and ideas is a better idea.  It’s a good start for a story though and I’m taking a different approach to writing it than I have in the past.  It’s really rough.  Hell, the idea may be cheesy. I’m scribbling it down though and getting through it.  

Probably one of the bigger factors in my reluctance in this go round is that I’m writing stuff I’m not entirely comfortable writing.  I thought that was pretty key to my come back this time around.  I had to challenge myself and do something different and I needed an entirely new approach.  So far, so good.  

I’ve alway identified myself as a horror writer.  I’ve tried to be a horror writer.  I’m just not sure I’ve ever really exceeded at it.  I’ve also felt like I was always banging my head against the wall trying to come up with something crazier, cookier, etc. Again, not with a lot of success.  

So again, something different.

Something I’ve always wanted to be was a science fiction writer.  Science fiction literature is my most favorite thing to read, hands down.  I’ve always been afraid of trying though, as I don’t always see myself as smart as your standard scifi author. I mean, I’m not dumb.  But the whole confidence thing has always been a problem.  Add to that, for some reason in my elderly years, I’ve often found myself afraid of having to work at something for a change.  I steered away from it.  

Something different.

This time around, I’m going all out.  This story, I don’t know if it’s going to actually be any good or not, but I like it.  It’s one I’ve been dreaming of bit by bit for many a year. So, I’m going to do it.  The story isn’t pure science fiction.  It’s post apocalyptic though, and there’s some science involved that I think has slowed my progress a bit, because I’m prone to overthinking things.  This post?  This is my effort to convince myself that I have to push those worries aside and power through.  

There’s some historical aspects I’m going to add in there too, which stems another of my favorite film genres.  (Write what you know, or at least like, right?) Those aspects don’t scare me as much.  Those aspects are there mostly for flavor.  

Then there’s the dreaded love story angle.  This one, I’m just plain not comfortable with because I’ve never done it and it doesn’t feel comfortable.  Power through, push the fears aside, all that jazz.

And those folks, are the string of thoughts that pass through the mind of somebody trying to be creative, as they come back from someplace that didn’t leave them feeling so…creative.  It can be jumbled mess sometimes. The process involves a lot of self convincing and self prodding to keep one’s fears at bay.  It’s easy to succumb to those voices and pretty damning if you do.  

If you let them in, even just a little bit, they can make your whole project fall apart.  

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